From the blog
How to choose a counsellor.
Ten questions worth asking before you book anything, what a good answer sounds like, and my own answers to all of them.
On this page
If any of this is landing close to home, the first fifteen-minute call is free.
In short
- Counselling is not a protected profession in the UK, so registration with the BACP, UKCP or BABCP is the first thing to check, and a membership number should be given freely.
- Ask what a counsellor does not work with. Everybody has a boundary, and one who can name theirs has thought about it.
- There should be a written contract and a privacy policy before you commit to anything, and the limits of confidentiality should be in writing rather than explained later.
- The research on outcomes points at the relationship rather than the method, so how a counsellor describes the work matters more than which school they trained in.
- Meeting two or three counsellors before choosing is normal, and how you felt after the conversation outranks the credentials.
Choosing a counsellor is a decision most people make once, with no experience to draw on, at a point when they are already struggling. That is a hard place to make a careful choice from. This is the list of questions I would want someone to ask me, including the ones that are awkward to ask.
You are allowed to ask all of these before you book anything, and a counsellor who is put out by being asked has told you something useful.
Is the counsellor registered with a professional body?
Ask which body, and ask for the membership number. Counselling is not a protected profession in the UK, so anyone may use the title. Registration with the BACP, UKCP or BABCP means someone has met a training standard, works to an ethics framework, and can be complained about to a body that will act.
This is the first question because it is the one that gives you somewhere to go if anything goes wrong. A membership number can be checked on the register in about a minute, and a counsellor should hand it over without being asked twice.
Accredited membership is a further step beyond registered membership, requiring supervised practice hours and an assessment of the work itself.
Do they have experience of what you are bringing?
Ask directly, and listen for a specific answer. A counsellor who works with your issue regularly will say so plainly and describe how they work with it. One who says they can work with anything is telling you less than they think.
This matters more for some things than others. General anxiety, low mood and difficulty at work are within the range of most trained counsellors. Trauma, neurodivergence, eating difficulties and addiction are areas where specific training changes what is on offer, and it is reasonable to ask what that training was and who provided it. My own trauma training is set out in full, with the programme and the provider named, on the trauma counselling page.
It is equally reasonable to ask what they do not work with. Everybody has a boundary somewhere, and a counsellor who can name theirs has thought about it.
Do they have regular supervision?
Every practising counsellor should be taking their work to a supervisor, regularly and for the whole of their career rather than only while training. Ask how often. The BACP asks for a minimum, and most working counsellors do more than the minimum.
Supervision is where a counsellor's work gets looked at by somebody else. It is what stops a practitioner drifting, missing something, or carrying a caseload alone. Your identity is not discussed; the work is.
A counsellor who is vague about supervision, or who describes it as something they used to do, is describing a practice with nobody checking it.
What kind of therapy do they practise?
Ask them to describe it in ordinary words rather than by name. What matters is not which school they trained in but whether their description of what will happen sounds like something you could do. The research on outcomes points consistently at the relationship rather than the method.
There are hundreds of named approaches and the names tell you very little. A more useful question is what a session will actually be like: how much you will talk, whether there is anything to do between sessions, whether they will ask about your childhood, whether they will ever tell you what they think.
If the answer to that comes back in jargon, ask again.
Is there a waiting list, and how long?
Ask when they could actually start, not when they could speak to you. Private practice waits are usually short compared with NHS or charity waits, but they vary a great deal, and a wait you cannot manage is a reason to keep looking.
Ask about their availability as well as their start date. A counsellor who can only offer Tuesday at two is offering you a slot rather than a service, and if that time will not survive contact with your job, it is better to know now than in six weeks.
Is there a written contract?
There should be, and you should be given it before you commit to anything. It should cover the fee, the session length, cancellation, confidentiality and its limits, and how either of you ends the work. A counsellor working without one has left every one of those to be settled during a disagreement.
Read the confidentiality section properly. Confidentiality is never absolute, and the limits should be written down rather than explained after they have been reached. There are a small number of situations where any counsellor has to break it, and you are entitled to know what they are before you tell anybody anything.
Where and how do they store your information?
Ask for their privacy policy. It should say what they hold, where it is kept, how long they keep it and how you get a copy. Counselling notes are special category data under UK GDPR, which is the highest level of protection the law gives.
Notes on paper should be locked away and separated from anything that identifies you. Notes on a computer should be encrypted. Neither should be somewhere a family member could come across them.
You have a right to ask for a copy of what is held about you, and a counsellor who seems surprised by that request has not thought about their obligations.
What happens if you cancel or miss a session?
Ask for the notice period and the charge, and ask what happens if they cancel. A held slot is a slot nobody else can use, so most counsellors charge for late cancellation, and that is normal rather than punitive. What matters is that you know the rule in advance.
My own terms are twenty-four hours' notice to move a session, subject to another time being free that week. With less notice, the session is charged. If I cancel, you are not charged.
How much notice do you give if you want to stop?
Ask, and expect the answer to involve a conversation rather than a period. Most counsellors will ask for a final session rather than a notice period, because stopping abruptly is itself often part of what the work is about.
You can end counselling whenever you like. Nobody can hold you in it. But the wish to leave suddenly is worth saying out loud rather than acting on, because it arrives most often in the week something difficult was approached, and that is exactly the week it is worth staying.
The question that is not on the list.
Every question above can be answered well by someone you would not want to sit with for an hour a week. The last check is not a question at all. After a first conversation, notice whether you felt easier or more braced. That is information, and it outranks the credentials.
If it is not right, say so and go elsewhere. A counsellor who takes that badly has just proved you right, and one who takes it well will often help you find somebody better suited. Meeting two or three people before choosing is normal and nobody will be offended by it.
My own answers to all ten.
It would be poor form to publish this list and leave you to work out my answers. I am a BACP accredited member, number 374395. I have regular supervision. I work from rooms in Hove, Brighton and Lewes, and online across the UK. Sessions are £80 for 50 minutes, weekly, at the same time. There is a written contract and a privacy policy, both on this site rather than produced on request. The first fifteen-minute call is free, and there is no waiting list for it.
On experience: I work with counselling for anxiety, stress and burnout, counselling for trauma, and with neurodivergent adults, and I offer writing and creative work alongside talking for people who find talking hard. I do not work with couples or groups, and I do not offer bereavement counselling. If what you need is outside that, I would rather say so on a free call than take a booking.
About the author
Amy Hutson is a BACP accredited counsellor, clinical supervisor and trainer, member 374395. She works from rooms in Brighton, Hove and Lewes, and online across the UK. Sessions are £80 for 50 minutes and the first fifteen-minute call is free.
Amy Hutson
BACP accredited counsellor, supervisor and trainer in Brighton and Hove, and online across the UK. PG Dip Humanistic Psychotherapy, University of Brighton. Trained in writing therapy and creative arts counselling.
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